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Understanding Male Sexuality
This information is intended for those who wish to learn more about male sexuality -- particularly information about topics that are considered to be too complicated, controversial or perhaps too embarrassing to discuss. The topics discussed here are loosely based on my responses to several hundred e-mail questions that have dealt with a variety of complicated but interesting issues related to male sexuality.
Basic Plumbing and Electrical
A suitable starting point is to begin with a discussion of how the basic plumbing and electrical system of male sexuality works. The plumbing and electrical system is complex, but very well designed for its purpose. Medical doctors refer to the electrical system consisting of the portions of the brain governing male sexual response and the associated nerve system as the limbic system. This electrical system connected to the plumbing system--a series of arteries and veins that control the inflow and outflow of blood to and from the penis, and also is connected via nerves to assorted glands.
Arousal, Erection and Ejaculation
Men often tend to consider these together, but, in reality they are separate but interrelated events, although ultimately related to each other. Any of these events can occur in the absence of the others
The Arousal Mechanism
Suppose that a man encounters something that excites him sexually. (more about what this might be later on). What happens? First, of course, messages are transmitted to the portion of the brain dedicated to sexual response. The man says to himself "I'm turned on" which is slang for sexual arousal. Many men believe that sexual arousal is always accompanied by an erection, but this is not necessarily the case at this first stage. The experience of being aroused is followed by electrical signals to two tiny glands that lie along the sides of the urethra where the tube that leads from the bladder through the tip of the penis. These two glands, called the Cowper's glands, are located inside the body directly above a point behind the scrotum called the perineum.
These little-recognized glands play a role in the male sexual response. They are primarily responsible for the production of glistening drops of a clear, slippery fluid sometimes called pre-ejaculate, but known also in slang as "ooze" or "precum". For many men, if not most, the first physical indication of sexual arousal is the formation of a drop or two of this fluid at the tip of the penis, even before erection occurs. Some men believe that when this fluid appears, they are already starting to leak ejaculate but this is not the case. This fluid acts as a lubricant for sperm and semen and lubricates the tip of the penis in sexual intercourse. It's pH level is quite high and it is very slippery. Research suggests that the high pH may help decrease the acidity of the vagina, thereby increasing the chance that the sperm will be able to fertilize the egg. Nature is very creative; it thinks of everything. Nature is at its very best when creating systems to ensure the continuation of the species, and the human system is one of its best and most elaborate efforts. The sexual arousal section of the brain sends signals to the cowper's glands (sometimes called the bulbourethral glands) telling them go into action. This is an automatic result of sexually-exciting stimuli, and thus outside of conscious control: the only way to stop it's production is to avoid the stimulus that is causing the sexual arousal.
These glands are present in many other mammals including the common livestock species. An internet resource dealing with the reproductive system of bulls, for example, indicates that the cowper's gland also secretes a similar clear fluid which is produced (and drips off the end of the bull's penis) during initial sexual arousal! Again, a function of the fluid is to reduce the acidity of the urethra, increasing the chance that sperm will survive.
A number of other things happen during the early stages of sexual arousal. First the man suddenly feels very good, psychologically. During arousal, the brain is flooded with natural chemicals that act similarly to drugs such as cocaine. These natural chemicals, called endorphins, make the man say to himself that whatever is causing the sexual arousal is very enjoyable and should be continued. If the sexual response is the result of observing another person, the man may make an effort to meet the other person involved.
Nature protects itself here and is very cunning. Nature's goal is to continue the species. If this is to occur, it's important that sexually attractive mates elicit a response that maximizes the chance that the two people involved will become better acquainted and perhaps eventually engage in sexual intercourse. (In case you were wondering, the arousal mechanism works identically for gay males, but the object of the sexual attraction here, is, of course, another male.)
Most men will produce pre-ejaculate when anything found to be sexually exciting occurs, perhaps even reading a sexually explicit story or watching a sexually explicit movie. The reason erotic books and videos sell well is because it often elicits this response in men along with feelings of psychological well-being, whether or not they have erections ultimately result in orgasm.
There is no limit to the length of time that a man can be aroused, and throughout the man can continue to produce drops of pre-ejaculate. Pre- ejaculate may, of occasion, contain some sperm, and a woman can become pregnant even if actual orgasm and ejaculation does not take place. That is rare, although there are cases of this happening.
Erection
Normally, however, arousal is followed by erection. An erection of the penis occurs as the spongy tissues of the penis are engorged with blood. There is one large primary artery responsible for blood flow into the penis, but several veins that drain the penis of blood. When an erection is not happening, the inflow of blood and the outflow is maintained in balance and the penis remains flaccid. The valves (actually flaps, according to medical experts) that control the flow of blood, however, are opened and closed by nerves that run through the spinal cord to the brain. During erection, blood flows into the penis and holes in the spongy tissue in the penis fill with blood. At the same time, flaps in the veins leading out of the penis enlarge, cutting off the drainage. As a result, the penis fills with blood. As more and more blood flows in than out, the penis enlarges and becomes harder. Finally, veins in the penis are compressed from the increasing pressure from the erection itself. Not only that, the heart rate and blood pressure increase, the pressure of blood into the penis increases, keeping the penis the hardest.
What can go wrong with the plumbing system? Several things. Those with spinal cord injuries are frequently unable to attain an erection because the nerves that control the valves in the veins and arteries have been severed. If these valves cannot be opened and closed an erection is impossible. As a man ages, the valves (flaps) controlling the veins that must be shut off may leak a bit, and not prevent the outflow of blood. And the blood flow into the penis may be restricted.
Also, as a man ages, the main penis artery may fill with sludge, reducing blood inflow. Smoking may contribute to this, as it does to the buildup of sludge in other portions of the circulatory system. Furthermore, alcohol use may decrease the ability of the nervous system to close off the necessary valves. That's why intoxicated men often cannot get and maintain an erection. Bicycle and other injuries to the groin area can be dangerous in that the main artery controlling blood flow to the penis may be squeezed shut, making a firm erection difficult or even impossible.
The size of the erection may be relatively unrelated to the size of the non-erect penis. Typically, those with smaller penises tend to enlarge to a greater degree when erect, so the differences in the size of the erect penis may not be that great. According to the book "Man's Body," the average flaccid penis is about 3 3/4 inches long with most falling between 3 1/4 and 4 1/4 inches, though a few fall outside this range. The average erect penis is 6 1/4 inches, with most between 5 and 7 inches, though a few are smaller and larger.A somewhat tongue in cheek primary data survey is at How Do you Measure Up?
A Newsweek article (September 16, 1996, p. 73) reported American Geriatric Society average data on the angle of erection from horizontal of the erect penis by age. The data are as follows:
Age Angle
20 10 degrees up from horizontal
30 20 degrees up from horizontal
40 1 degree up from horizontal
50 1 degree down from horizontal
70 25 degrees down from horizontal
An article in Men's Health Magazine (June, 1996) indicates that these data are overly optimistic, and that the average erect penis length now widely accepted by doctors is 5.1 inches. This seems a bit short to me, at least for an average number, but if these data become widely known, most men may be happy to find out that they are "above average." Part of the problem is that scientific data on this is difficult to collect by other parties, and men, if they measure themselves in private, are perhaps sometimes prone to brag a bit. Furthermore, erect penis length varies with the degree of erection.
Past puberty, in the teen years, and perhaps during the twenties, it is possible to get a full erection without any manual stimulation at all. As men age beyond the 20s, this occurs less and less frequently and increasingly some manual manipulation of the penis is needed. As the penis becomes increasingly erect, the nerve endings located there gradually become more and more sensitive to touch. In general, the harder the penis can become, the more pleasant the sensations from the touch. Other physiological changes occur. As the erection grows, the heart and breathing rate increases. During the initial stages of arousal, before erection occurs, the testicles and scrotum feel quite large and soft, and are very sensitive to touch. Gentle pressure on the testicles with the fingertips produces particularly pleasant sensations. As the erection proceeds, the testicles change as well, increasing in size by up to 50% as they also fill with blood. The become harder and are drawn up to the body as the point of ejaculation becomes nearer and nearer.
Many men think that an erection must ordinarily proceed to an orgasm and ejaculation, but this is not necessarily so. By repeatedly massaging and then stopping the manual stimulation of the penis, a man can go through many erection cycles that do not necessary need to lead directly to orgasm. With each cycle, often the man can learn to take a bit more stimulation without ejaculating.
Research indicates that stimulation of the septum, a portion of the brain known to be a part of the limbic system, results in the feeling of an orgasm, but this stimulation produces neither an erection nor ejaculation. These findings support the theory that ejaculation and orgasm, though often linked together, are, indeed, separate events. Interestingly, this research finding also lends credence to the theories of those authors who advocate the view that men can learn to have multiple, closely-spaced, orgasms.
Learning how to achieve an erection just below the level which will lead to ejaculation is an important part of sexual enjoyment. It is important for the man to learn how to read his body's signals that orgasm and ejaculation are near. Psychologists call the point where the man can no longer delay orgasm the "point of inevitability" There are several physical indications. First, the hole in the tip of the penis will become more slit-like. Precum production will stop. Generally if the fluid at the tip of the penis becomes milky, the point of inevitability is already past.
Learning how to lengthen the arousal and erection period while delaying orgasm is an important part of maximizing enjoyment from sex. As the erection proceeds, the physical sensations become increasingly more and more exciting, and the psychological pressure to ejaculate becomes more and more intense. The trick is to lean to keep the stimulation just below the level required for ejaculation while learning to deal with the increasing psychological pressure to ejaculate. Like driving a racing car closer and closer to a wall at ever high speeds, the psychological pleasure becomes more and more intense, the longer the arousal can be maintained without ejaculation, but the greater the enjoyment for the man. Furthermore, the longer this stage can be maintained, the more powerful and enjoyable the orgasm will be for the man. Thus, developing skills for doing this and dealing with the psychological desire to ejaculate for as long as possible are essential for the full enjoyment of partner (and solo) sex, and this is what requires practice. Women usually require a somewhat longer period of time to become fully aroused, so being able to delay orgasm potentially increases the enjoyment of sex by both partners.
Many women believe that men are happier the more frequently they can have intercourse. This is not really accurate. What men truly enjoy is being aroused with their partner (and as their partner is also aroused) while both remain in an aroused state for a long period of time, delaying orgasm for as long as is comfortable and possible. A continuing theme of the story lines in erotic literature is a situation in which the woman arouses the man and keep him for a long time at a level just below what is needed to achieve an orgasm. It's important in achieving marital happiness for women to learn how to do this for their husbands.
All of the sections of the erect penis are not equally sensitive. Thus, by varying locations being stimulated, the man can perhaps delay orgasm. Stimulation of the base of the penis, near the body, while pleasant, normally will not be sufficient to achieve orgasm. The underside of the tip of the penis, called the frenulum, is very sensitive to manual stimulation. If this area of the erect penis is stimulated very much, an orgasm (and ejaculation) will occur almost immediately. Thus it is important to not stimulate this region, at least not until late in the sex play.
There is a reason for this. During intercourse, when the man's penis is fully inside the woman's body, the tip of the penis will touch the cervix at the end of the vagina. Unless the man is deep inside the woman, the vagina is simply a hollow tube, and the tip of the penis is not touched. By ensuring that the orgasm takes place almost precisely when the tip of the penis comes in contact with the cervix, the sperm will have the shortest distance to travel to reach the waiting egg. Thus, a man's "reward" for placing the semen in the location that will maximize the chance that the woman gets pregnant (and the species continues) is the pleasant sensations that occur when the tip of the penis touches the cervix. In sex play, the man can reproduce these pleasant feelings outside of intercourse by touching the tip, particularly the underside of the tip, although orgasm and ejaculation will likely follow almost immediately. Because of the sensitivity and pleasant sensations, the frenulum is often referred to as the "male G spot."
A significant portion of the penis, perhaps one- third to one-half of it, lies inside the body. This portion of the penis also responds to manual stimulation. It can be felt and externally massaged at a spot called the perineum area, which is directly behind the base of the scrotum. This is a little-recognized but highly spot on the male body. This spot is sometimes referred to as the "second male G spot" though many men are not even aware that it is a sexually sensitive area of the body In addition to the possibility of externally massaging the interior portion of the erect penis, a bundle of nerves terminate here, and the main artery that is responsible for providing blood for erections runs through this area. That is why bicycle injuries may lead to impotency. Surgeons are becoming increasingly talented in repairing damage to this artery. In addition, inside, but directly above this area lies the cowper's (bulbourethral) glands, and it is likely that external massage of this area will to a certain degree stimulate these glands.
The prostate is a little further up, but close by. A have heard varying opinions as to whether it is possible to externally massage the prostate by touching the perineum area, but I believe it is possible. Massaging the prostate, a walnut-size gland responsible for secreting most of the liquid contained in semen can be very pleasant, and some men do this by inserting a gloved finger directly inside the rectum, as the gland is located only about an inch inside.
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